wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
