Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
