Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
