i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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