Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
