Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
