aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
