We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
