He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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