Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
