Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
false alarm, still single
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
