Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
her vagine was all disorganized.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
