is your mom at the bar?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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