Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
