guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
