u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize