Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
