Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
