just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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