I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
