I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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