im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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