We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize