did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Someone came in the potted fern
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
