remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
