Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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