I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
