Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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