You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
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