...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Randomize
