So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
