Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
40s are totally the cure
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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