I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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