So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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