I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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