oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
