what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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