Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
