He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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