I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I currently don't understand fingers.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
