and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
