he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
