i barfeds in our rink
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
handjob tips. give me some.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
