Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
