Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We had sex on a dog bed..
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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