All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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