Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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