dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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