Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
