How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
