Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
