With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
