she was so not down for the gang bang
Ambien. No doubt about it.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
