The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
It was confusing and full of hummus
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Randomize
