Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I need water and some morals
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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