trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
