I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
