my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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