I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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