I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
