It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Hippo gnu deer
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
