eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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