i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
