Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
