I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
They have beer where we have blood.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
