So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The power of my boobs compel you
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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