Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
