...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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